Not who they wanted
by Anderling
Summary: When Axel and Roxas return, Riku isn't too bothered - he'll end up with Sora anyways. But Sora and Axel are getting closer and Riku sees his love slip away... Yaoi, rated for mentions of sex. RikuRoku, AkuSora, AkuRoku.


**I have absolutely no idea where this came from. Still, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, considering I finished this at ten past 11 pm yesterday.  
****Random Fact-of-the-day: The second-to-last scene was added this afternoon. I was plotting it at school today because the fic was "missing" something and I kept trying to figure out what it was. I guess this works.  
Random Fact-of-the-day #2: The things between ()'s were actually notes to help remind me what to edit in the morning. However, well-rested!me decided the story worked out better with them than without them, so they were left in. Yay?****  
****Anyways, enjoy!****Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.  
****Warnings: Yaoi (guy-on-guy), implied sex, gay marriage.  
**

* * *

Riku had no idea how it happened. He could trace the very beginnings back to Sora's seventeenth birthday, though, that much he knew.  
He and Riku and Kairi were out on the beach talking about everything that happened two years ago, when Sora felt... weird. Not the kind of weird that you feel when you're sick, but the kind of weird that's somehow kinda nice even though it feels really, really wrong too, enough to make you realise something very bad is happening. (Riku had no idea what to make of that description, but Sora was bad at explaining stuff, so he let it drop.)  
Riku remembers Kairi laughing at Sora's confused expression, saying, "What's the matter, Sora, did you see a ghost?" He remembers the brunette shaking his head, muttering an "I'm fine", getting up and tottering a few steps... and then all of a sudden, he just collapsed. Kairi gasped in surprise and Riku rushed forward to help his friend, but then... a streak of blonde, a flash of white and grey... a glimpse of red and the 'whoosh' of a long, black coat...

No one knew why or how or when, but it had definitely happened. When Sora woke up, there were four people sitting by his bed. Riku, of course, Kairi... and... Roxas and Axel?  
Even now, nearly a year later, none of them knew what happened, though Roxas and Axel usually said they could feel something calling them and the next thing they knew, they were on the Destiny Islands and Sora had just collapsed.  
Riku could tell then and there, when Sora laid eyes on the former Number Eight of the organisation, that something was up, but he ignored it, tried to stifle the thought with the idea that it was only natural to be relieved to find that someone you thought you'd seen die in front of you was alive. Everything would work out in the end...

After a while, things worked out nicely. Roxas, having shared his memories (sort of) with Sora, settled in just fine in the Islands, getting used to everything quickly.  
Axel, however, did not. The climate was perfect for him, but getting used to dealing with people after so much time trying to avoid them unless necessary was proving very difficult. Sora, being the person that he is, offered to help him out with this, something for which Axel was as grateful as he could be. (Apparently he had found some fragments of his heart in the Nothingness, but the explaination for this was complicated. It basically came down to Axel being sortof able to feel, though not to the same extent someone with a 'whole' heart could. Riku gave up on trying to understand pretty quickly.)

Looking back, Riku realised that the signs had been there but he'd just been too stubborn to realise it. Cancelling their weekly movie night in favor of helping Axel get the feel of the islands... the little smirks and glances Sora and Axel shared when they thought no one was looking... "friendly" touches that lingered longer than necessary...  
Riku wasn't the brightest crayon in the shed (...wait), but denial was preferable over the truth in this case. However, there is a point where denial stops helping, and to Riku, that point was when he found Sora and Axel in Sora's room in a very _interesting_ position. After the brief moment it took for him to verify that no, he wasn't dreaming and yes, Sora was having sex with Axel, the silver-haired boy turned and ran.  
When Sora came looking for him on one of the islands a few hours later, either utterly unaware that Riku had seen them or choosing to pretend it never happened, Riku was... oddly resigned to the situation. Mostly, he was happy that the brunette had found someone to be with, but there was a nagging corner of his heart that shouted, _"What about _me_, Sora? What am I supposed to do now?"  
_  
That little nagging voice grew louder from that moment on every time he saw them together, regardless of what they were doing. _"What about me?"_ Now that the person he loved had chosen someone else to be with, what could Riku do?  
"I feel the same way you do, you know," Roxas said one day.  
Axel had stolen Sora's necklace and they were running across the beach, Axel trying his best to keep away from Sora and Sora attempting to get the silver necklace back. The blond had tactically decided to be quiet until the other two were at a safe distance.  
"Wha-?" Riku asked, not quite getting it.  
"With them." Roxas nodded towards the two lovers. "How even though you _should_ be happy for them and part of you is, you still feel..." He trailed off.  
"...betrayed? Forgotten?"  
"Yeah."  
Riku paused for a moment, debating the reason behind this. "Why?"  
Roxas half-smiled, having decided to answer the question. "Well... you could say that... we were lovers. Axel and I. There weren't any real emotions involved," the blonde continued, having guessed what was on Riku's mind, "but it worked out okay, sortof. But then things got out of hand and I started wondering if the whole Organization was really what I wanted, and I left. Still, it does hurt to see them like that..."  
Roxas trailed off, staring at Sora and Axel. Apparently the brunette had tackled the redhead to the ground and was tickling him in an attempt to get his necklace back, though it failed to work.  
Riku's mind, however, was far away. _So Roxas feels this way too...?_Some time passed. Riku found that he stopped pining after Sora and trailing after him like a lost puppy. The smiles his friend cast at his lover stopped bothering him... for the most part. The silver-haired boy was starting to think he could get over this, maybe ask Kairi out or something.  
Fate has a cruel way of making things worse when you think they're starting to look up.  
"Riku, guess what?"  
Riku frowned slightly. It wasn't like Sora at all to call him in the middle of the night and play guessing games. Fine, I'll play. "The sky turned green all of a sudden?"  
A brief snicker. "No, of course not."  
"Pigs can fly now?"  
"Ha! Yeah, right."  
"Sam Vimes forgot to read _Where's My Cow?_ to Young Sam?"  
"Whatnow?" Sora asked, confused.  
"Never mind. What happened, then?"  
"Axel proposed to me tonight!"  
A little piece of Riku's heart felt like it chipped off of the rest and fell down, down, down...  
...and yet the silver-haired boy faked a happy tone in his voice and smiled at the phone (though Sora wouldn't know) and acted happy about being Sora's best man...  
...but when the phone call ended, Riku tossed the phone somewhere in his room and ran out.

Somewhere. Anywhere. Far away.  
The three things that were echoing through Riku's mind as he walked with no particular purpose in mind. Sadly, the island was small and even though that could have worked, Riku didn't feel like sailing towards another island. The silver-haired boy settled for running along the shoreline as long as he could until he had calmed down. He slowed his run to a walk and then to a stop, settling down on the soft sand. Riku pulled up his knees to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs. _"What __now?"  
_"Riku?"  
The boy looked up. Standing a few metres away was Roxas, still in pajamas and rubbing his eyes. "What are you doing here?"  
Riku blinked, then turned away, focussing his aqua eyes on the horizon. "You haven't heard, then?"  
"No? Is something wrong?" the blonde asked, walking over and sitting down next to him.  
Riku sighed. "Sora and Axel are getting married." Roxas noted his friend didn't deny that something was wrong.  
"...is that so...?"  
"Yeah..." Riku laughed humourlessly. "The person I love is getting married to another man and I get to be his best man! Ha! It's just so... so... weird, you know? Ever since we were kids I pictured myself marrying him when I grew up and here he is, marrying someone he tried to kill and vice-versa..." A loud sob was heard. It took Riku a moment to realise it was him. "I can't... I just can't deal with this horrible feeling anymore..."  
Roxas reached out and patted his friend on the back, looking thoughtful. "You know... maybe I could... try to help?"  
The shock made Riku freeze for a moment before forcing himself to look at the former Organization XIII member. "What?"  
Roxas chose his words carefully. "I know I'm not Sora... and I never will be... but maybe... it'll help you get over him. Maybe if you've got somebody to love, you won't feel so sad anymore."  
For a moment, the shadow of Sora's face ghosted over Roxas's. It only lasted for a second, but it was enough.  
Riku nodded.

That night, they found out a lot of things.  
Riku learned that though they looked almost identical, Roxas was quite different from Sora. Less submissive, less quiet. Not allowing Riku to completely dominate their relationship now that he wasn't up against someone as dominant as Axel.  
Roxas learned that while Riku was similar in some ways to Axel – the way he moved, the way he knew exactly what to do to drive the blond wild – the similarities ended there. Riku was more kind towards Roxas, not just looking for his own pleasure but trying to satisfy his lover as well.  
It wasn't what either one of them expected, what they wanted. But it felt so right, it didn't matter to them.

Six months later, when Sora walked down the aisle, Riku found that he was genuinely happy for the first time. Glancing at Roxas, who was standing next to Axel, Riku could tell he felt the same.  
Neither of them ended up with the person they loved... but it was all right. They were happy anyways.

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